Author:
• Sunday, January 30th, 2011

Trinity Mascott

Joyous Act (1/2011)

Trinity Winchester is a charity providing services for those experiencing the effects of homelessness or vulnerable housing; problems with substance misuse; mental health issues; poverty; unemployment and social isolation.

Left – Right, Me, Tanya-Jayne Park (Volunteer), Michelle Gardner (Chief Executive), Sue McKenna (Operations Manager)

Appallingly I have to begin my first of 2011′s posts with an apology to thepeople at Trinity Winchester. When I decided to change the format of this year’s blog and achieve one Joyous Act per month (instead of per day) I fully intended to post the outcome in the same month. For a number of reasons I won’t go into I’ve not managed this yet. I visited these guys on the 22 January and here I am hanging my head in the shadow of March (its shockingly April as I finish this). The acts themselves are coming along nicely but I must work harder on timely posting. Thankfully, the guys at Trinity are as patient as they are inspiring so here goes, let me tell you about my experience at Bradbury House, Trinity Winchester
I thought I’d use twitter to help achieve January’s joyousness. I put out a tweet “Anyone know of a charity local to Southampton that might fancy a visit and  helper for the day?’ Very quickly I had a response from Tanya-Jayne Park (@WebBasedWorking) a volunteer at Trinity  Winchester. A few days later Tanya and I were on our way to Trinity in her bright yellow fiat. Tanya told me how Trinity had helped her many years before when she was a teenager dealing with some difficult circumstances. Now she chooses to give something back by volunteering her professional expertise to the charity, a small way to demonstrate her thanks.

Tanya gives up her professional time

When I arrived I met with Chief Executive, Michelle Gardner and Operation Manager, Sue McKenna. I felt extremely welcome and was immediately comfortable. I’m not sure what I was expecting. This was my first time in this type of environment and if I’m honest I probably expected a more depressing space. In my mind’s eye I anticipated  a sad place full of disillusioned people but I couldn’t have been more wrong. This view was clearly naive and ill thought through. Trinity has an inspiring community spirit and an exceedingly positive energy – I felt it as soon as I walked in.

The centre offers an amazing array of courses and services that make a real difference to people’s lives. One of the services offered by The Women’s Centre is The Freedom Programme for women who are suffering from, or have suffered domestic abuse. There are also accredited computer courses, doctor appointments, a postal service and therapy sessions available. The centre allows people that are struggling for whatever reason, to maintain some dignity and order in circumstances when it really isn’t easy to do so.

Its pleasing to know that Trinity Winchester  gets some financial support from Hampshire County

Bradbury House at Trinity Winchester

Council but its not surprising to hear that 18 staff and 30 volunteers raise more than half its required income each year through fundraising and trust applications. This is no mean feat. The centre is the only direct access drop-in centre in the region and has a sister centre in Basingstoke. Its general services can work with up to 54 people per day while its women’s centre supports more than 150 women, many of whom have children  - each year.

As I was given a tour of the facilities I understood the importance of a separate children’s room, the clothes store and social area and I was really impressed by the beautiful surrounding gardens. A partnership the private sector would be envious of means that Hampshire Wildlife Trust utilise space in the Trinity building while the centre benefits from a beautiful stretch of mother nature right on its doorstep. I saw a couple of solitary figures enjoying the space which confirms my initial observation that it would be a perfect spot for peaceful reflection.

Dishing up

Lunch came and it was time  for me to get my hands dirty. I was to serve. I met the lady responsible for the cooking, someone else that had in the past used the centre to get back on her feet. She told me Sainsbury’s provides all the food for Trinity and then laughed as a I proceeded to make a mess of dishing up. I know. How hard could it be?

I was relieved to see smiling friendly faces  and I wondered how it must feel to have to take that first step to Trinity’s door. I was really conscious not to appear as though I was gratuitously taking a peak into their lives. I wanted some pics for this blog but had concern that it might look somehow appear rude. They didn’t mind a jot and ended up taking the pictures for me. I was looking forward to  speaking to the guys I was serving.  I was genuinely interested to hear what they had to say.

I met a guy who used to run a million pound business – he was a driver originally and built up a nice little empire. When the business folded for reasons that could happen to anyone: red tape, lost contracts, he started to sell drugs. He didn’t use them, he sold them (at first anyway). He needed to keep ‘afloat’. He got caught and ended up in prison. He  split from his wife losing his children too. When he came out of prison he started driving again until he lost his license for drink driving. He now lives far from his family in a rented room and comes to the centre for company and support.  He is clearly a bright man but affected by circumstance and now, alcohol addiction. He was very honest with me and talked about the depression that sets in when not having work, the feelings of worthlessness when he looks back over his mistakes. The Centre is helping him stay on track while he continues to search for work. It gives his somewhere to go and a community to be part of.

Trinity Winchester

It might be easy for you or I to judge the decisions he has made along the way, but how can any one of us be sure that in a parallel universe, with our backs against the wall,  that we too wouldn’t make some irrational decisions we would later regret? We all know that addiction does not discriminate. Alcohol and drugs are a very real part of our society whether we like it or not. Whether you are a risk taking party animal, or a glass of red by the fire type – there really is no way of knowing on that first sip if it will develop into a more sinister habit. Addiction is a serious illness and one that affects many of our country’s homeless. And the number of homeless people in this country is only getting larger what with the current economic pressures and increasing numbers of unemployed.

I spoke to many people around Trinity, all from very different walks of life and all at very different stages on their respective journeys. They had many things in common, not least that despite the knock backs and challenges they were facing they all, without question, had on balance more hope than despair. I got the overwhelming feeling this was because of the Centre, and more than that, the people working in it.

CEO, Michelle Gardner

I spent time talking to CEO, Michelle Gardner. An inspiring lady who despite being in astonishing back pain (from a slipped disk) openly shared her achievements and frustrations with me. Michelle is a business woman. She is in the business of helping people. What she achieves on a ridiculously tight budget would impress any FD in the private sector. She manages a team of volunteers and employees who are working to give give people back their independence. To provide them with somewhere safe and non-judgmental where they can start to put their lives back together. A bad day at the office though isn’t when a project is late or a deadline gets missed, its when somebody dies. In her words, “It happens, but it shouldn’t”.

Operations Manager, Sue McKenna came to work at Trinity after more than 10 years working in the private sector. She acknowledges that the money isn’t what it could be but but that benefits outweigh the costs. “Working for a charity doesn’t feel any different to working in the private sector, you still have a job to do but I know we are ultimately doing good and that is important to me”

Sue McKenna, Operations Director

While I was at the centre I met one of their most recent success stories. A young homeless couple were being congratulated by the Trinity community as they had finally been allocated a house. These guys had been living in stark conditions in a caravan for ten years and had been working their way through the system by themselves to no avail.  It took about a minute before they accredited their key worker for the final results. Her hard work providing emotional support and encouragement through their endeavor meant they managed to get things sorted. They are expecting a baby and knowing they will be able to provide a proper home for their new family had them very excited.

I met Jane, one of the Centre’s key workers. Jane was clearly devoted to her job and worked tirelessly on behalf of her clients. She told me her philosophy was to “never expect too much. If I don’t reach out or make a difference first time it just makes me more determined to try again”.  This grit and determination is a necessity when working in an area with infinite goals and objectives. The simple truth is however much the centre does do, there will always be more than can be done and more people that need help. One of Jane’s clients told me how he used to sleep rough at the Cathedral. Jane used to go and see him there and just say,”come and see me”. She didn’t give up, and eventually he did. Now they are working together to get his life back on track.

Key Worker, Jane with Fred who credits Jane for getting him back on his feet

I had an an amazing day at the centre. I left feeling inspired and hopeful for all those that have the courage to take those  first few steps and ask for help. I also felt grateful for the support networks in my life and opportunities that I have had over my 3o odd years  that have meant I have been able to face life’s adversities knowing I’ll always be ‘alright’.

I did however leave feeling a little frustrated too. Frustrated at what I know is the misconception in our country about those that are homeless. Yes, some of them want to be, it is all they know and you know what? Its their life and so be it. We can’t change that.

But my overwhelming personal feeling is that most homeless people are massively mis-understood and the fact is that many are suffering from some sort of mental health issue – and no, this doesn’t mean they are all loopy. I suspect that depression is at the heart of  many of their problems. Depression often leads to self-medication with alcohol and substance abuse and vice versa. Its almost irrelevant to me which comes first. As a nation we  underestimate  the effects of real depression and we belittle addiction as if those afflicted choose it.  Something Michelle said while I was at the centre really struck with me. She said, “One human being should be able to look into the face of another human being and see that they are ill” and she is right.

With a touch more compassion, some real thought instead of judgement we might all begin to realise that homelessness is so much more than not just having a roof over your head.  It runs deeper than that and centres like Bradbury House, Trinity Winchester make a real difference to those struggling to find their way. To make a donation or volunteer at Bradbury House visit the website here.

Author:
• Sunday, January 02nd, 2011

It’s official! WOOT!

I have completed a Joyous Act every day (bar 1) during 2010 pretty much exactly as I pledged to do so on NYE 2009.

In fact – I have most probably  achieved way more than 365 joyous acts because once you open your eyes to look for it you realise that they are everywhere and that making yourself and one other person Joyous really doesn’t take as much effort as you might think. Certainly not as much effort as I expected it to be!

So, before I share my 5 top Joyous Acts of this year I’m going to tell you about my plans for the blog during 2011.

Am I still going to do Joyous Acts? Yes! Am I going to blog about it everyday? No.

Having lived a year appreciating the joy in life and realising that Joy can be shared in the most mundane of things I’ve decided to blog 12  entries this year, one each month.

Instead of reporting on the beautiful random joy that can be found in the smallest things every day like sharing, listening and laughing, I am going to make sure that each entry is exciting and hopefully therefore inspiring too.

This year is going to be a busy one and so I need to be more realistic with my time. I have lots I want to achieve – I’ll update you more on that in my Joyous Now blog which will be updated tomorrow and in the meantime  I will be adopting the quality not quantity mantra and achieving 12 EXTREMELY joyous acts in 2o11 so if you have any ideas – don’t hesitate to contact me!

The only thing I have left to say now is THANK YOU for all your support and I hope you’ve enjoyed it oh, and I’m  really sorry that we lost the facebook page – I am still working on trying to get it back!!

My personal top 5 Joyous Acts in 2010 have been…

1) Giving out heart shaped helium filled balloons in Birmingham on Valentines Day

2) Taking a bag full of Easter Eggs to the Children’s Ward at Birmingham Children’s hospital at Easter

3) Getting my tattoo & paying off my credit card debts

4) Sharing Pringles with a Nicaraguan grandmother and grandaughter whilst on a long bus  journey

5) Teaching Tibetan refugee’s & Monks conversational English in India

Author:
• Friday, December 31st, 2010

26th Dec – The modern day thank you card

Today I emailed and rang all those I needed to thank for my lovely Christmas pressies. It always makes me joyous to make people feel appreciated (and feel appreciated myself)

27th Dec – Tweet Meet Part Deux

So, you remember @DannyBlahBlah who kindly invited Sian and  I over to watch the Apprentice when we were sans TV in London? Well, it only turns out his family live in Southampton and he is as bored out of his mind as I am in this between Christmas and New Year period. What did we do? We met in town and I drank Gin and he drank beer. Joyous. I feel like fo some reason he and I are meant to be crossing paths….

28th Dec – Once a friend always a friend

There is a girl I was very close friends with years ago (i’m talking 15 yrs ago) and we are connected on facebook and through some other friends with whom we are still in touch. We finally arranged to meet this festive season seeing as I am back down this way. So, she texts me today and cancelled because she is in the middle of what looks like being a break-up. It was weird  because we had a conversation (via text) about fate and and the usual cliches and I tried to share some encouraging words as I felt as sad for her now as I would have all those years ago. The text seems to have helped a bit and she responded saying so and promising a reschedule once the dust has settled her end. While it was a sad conversation for  her I took something Joyosus away fromit, as did she. And that, is the knowledge that true friendship stands the test of time.

29th Dec – Little FOCKERS

I treated my nephew to a trip to the cinema where we watched the Little Focker movie. Hysterical and extremely Joyous xx

30th Dec – Girly sleepover

I had dinner tonight with one of my longest standing friends  - probably another one of about 15 years. Its true we hadn’t seen each other in a year or so but as always – it was SUCH fun. We gossiped, laughed, even had a little bitch and the whole thing was absolutely  joyous.

31st Dec – Happy New Year!!!!!

My joyous act today has been helping mum get ready for the party we are having at the house. I’m literally just about to go downstairs and get cooking…

Its worth noting here that I am looking forward to the year ahead so much its untrue. I spent last New Year in London with my friend Sian and there we decided to go traveling in 2010 and, that I would note a joyous act everyday during the same year. Both pledges were achieved and I am massively proud of that!

I can honestly say that despite stresses and strains, this year has been incredible and very special to me. Taking the time to acknowledge something joyous every day has ensured that I remain positive pretty much all of the time as well as grateful for all the opportunities and adventures that are out there waiting for us to exploit them. Life is definitely worth living – I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2011!

May the JOY be with you :-)

Author:
• Saturday, December 25th, 2010

15th Dec – Unexpected tweet-up

Was in London tonight and staying with my mate Sian – we bothhad some important meetings so we crashed at her brothers’ currently empty flat. A great plan, until we realised there was no TV. Not something that would normally be a problem except that it was the penultimate episode of the Apprentice and the next day I was off to the filming of the final You’re Fired/Hired and so I kind of had to see it. What to do?

I called on the Twitter-verse and put a tweet out there “Anyone in Clapham wanto to host me and my mate to watch the Apprentice tonight?” a wonderful reply from @DannyBlahBlah pictured below and off we went :-) It was great fun! We supplied the wine, he supplied the TV – what good fun!

16th Dec – Embarrassing Joy

It was rush hour on my way to Clapham North tube station. People everywhere. Lots of them. Me and my wheely case were on a mission. I was under the bridge almost at the station when I heard someone shouting ‘OY’ thought nothing of ot of course and carried on toward my destination. Next thing I get a tap on my shoulder and a point to the floor behind me. My wheely case has burst open and my smalls, my shoes, me deoderant and my jeans were deposited in a trail across the road. I was mortified – the onlookers were highly amused – as was the twittersphere when I told them about it. I don’t mind people  laughing at my expense thats fine – in fact – its joyous :-)

17th Dec – Reference Joy

I was asked to write a reference today for someone that used to work for me. It turns out she has git herself a cracking little job and I am so pleased for her. I wrote a glowing reference, she deserved it.

18th Dec – Comedy in a train carriage

Weather caused chaos on the trains today. I’m heading back to Southampton from Birmingham and manage dto get a spot on teh train but only by using sheer force to get on it in the first place. My ‘spot’ was stood up between carriages along with about 20 other people – we were like sardines. There was a little bit of what I imagine to be the blitz spirit in the air as most people had been travelling for hours or delayed so were just pleased to be ON a train. It was then my mum called – it was kind of quiet – until I explained about the delay and asked her to ‘record the strictly come dancing final’ – well – - the carriage cracked up and then a few others quickly followed suit to ask their loved ones to do the same. Funny.

19th Dec- Live Tweeting

Today I watched the Apprentice final and did some live tweeting during the show – it was great fun. I was laughing a lot at what people had to say and had lots of messages saying that they enjoyed my commentary also. That puts a lovely end to the Apprentice chapter in my life.

20th Dec – Operation Clean-up

So – with this sister back tomorrow I took to the rubber gloves and made sure her home was spotless for her return. Very satisfying and she wil be chuffed to come home to new bed sheets and a cleaned out rabbit.

21st Dec – BOOM

Today I slipped over at London Waterloo. Not once mind you, twice. And in quick succession. OMG it was just so funny and embarrassing. hey ho – once again – It made people smile even if I am gonna have a wopper of a bruise on my bum! I laugh ut loud everytime I think of it now.

22nd Dec – 5 mins Fame!

Wow – so today I did a photoshoot with the Daily Echo! It was sooo funny. I am NOT a natural and can’t say I enjoyed the idea of having my picture taken (though thats because I’m heavy at the moment and know I have some weight to shift) It was good fun in the end though – and anything to have some new pics other than the scary official ones used by the Apprentice machine.

23rd Dec – Letter from my teacher

Today I received a note from a teacher that taught me when I was 11 years old. It was congratulating me on my Apprentice performance (If you can call it that!) and It was so lovely-it made me truly joyous. I responded by offering to go and speak t t he pupils if he thinks they would find it interesting. A lovely day.

24th Dec – Christmas Eve: mummy’s helper

Chopped all the veg ready for Christmas day this afternoon. Mum was joyous as she didn’t have to do it!

25th Dec – Christmas Day!

Giving all my GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS GIFTS and playing cards with my newphew.  Also enjoyed cooking up a storming red cabbage dish. Awesome.

Author:
• Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

25th Nov – Stranger Favours

At the train station today and a lady asked if I would watch her coffee while she did something or other. Easy, and nice to be trusted by a stranger.

26th Nov – Cake Cake Cake

I bought someone cake today – it was massively joyous. A starbucks skinny lemon muffin cake – soooo tasty and utterly joyous to share.

27th Nov – DANGER

Today was a stressful day. I had some awesome meetings in London but came home to an unhappy Dad with a broken down vehicle. His infinite wisdom saw my mum having to tow his car in the dark and snow to the nearest garage – which actually wasn’t near at all. Inevitably they were stopped by the police and given a telling off not to mention the ticket for having no MOT – WTF?? It was an eventful and dramatic evening. I would go so far as to say it was unpleasant in fact.

How did it become Joyous? I hear you ask. We got home, my parents recounted the story to my sister. She looked at me and I said… “I’ve been out with the kids again” laughter ensued, and LOTS of it. Bless ‘em.

28th Nov – My nephew the Lifeguard

My newphew is 13 and today he was taking his Lifeguard test. Very proud of him. On his way out the house he had a moment panic and came into my room, “Aunty Joy, Whats the drowning Chain? I can’t remember it” Umm… I of course had no idea but I did have Google which politely threw this up at me…


I proceeded to teach my nephew how to create a phrase with the important letters in a list that needs to be remembered and he left with a new mantra beginning with the Key letters of the chain – I don’t remember t of course but he did, and he passed his test. Joyous

29th Nov –  Petition signing

Today I was sent a link to sign a petition about the rise in tuition fees – I signed it.

30th Nov – The gift of chocolate

Bought some chocolate for my mum today – AND some donuts. Gluttony at its finest and we were very joyous during consumption!

1st Dec –  Snow & LIme

Had a great night out at the opening of a little bar in Southampton called Lime. It was fun and we enjoyed a few to many vinos. What we didn’t realise while we were safely tucked away in the warm was that the snow had come – and not by half measure! We stepped outside truly pickled and were met with alost 4 inches of the stuff! We had what we like to call the fairground ride home (its a good 25 minutes from town) and we were so happy to home safe that the cabby got a mahoosive and well deserved tip. We were joyous he agreed to take us in the first place and even more joyous to be back in one piece!

2nd Dec – Evening sale

Mum and I went to a shopping evening in Romsey tonight. We had a really good laugh trying things on and getting things wrong. Always joyous to spend 1 on 1 time with Mum. I couldn’t begin to try and tell you how much I love her.

3rd Dec – Failed Joy

Today has been one of the worst days of the year for me and there really is nothing Joyous to report. I had a hideous row with my Dad – we have a challenging relationship.  I’m not sad about it though – in a whole year this is the only time i’ve failed to find something Joyous in the day. Thats not a bad record.

4th Dec – TV Joyousness

My nephew stayed at my house today and he is a big fan of I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here so when it was on and Dad said he wasn’t watching it there was some disappointment.  No fear – I made him joyous when I told him that he could watch it with me on my computer with www.tvcatchup.com :-)

5th Dec – The Joy of Youth

Spent the evening at my Brother’s house babysitting 3 of his 4 children. My 5 year old niece opened the front door to me and said “I saw you on the telly”and then took hold of my hand and didn’t let go till bedtime. The whole evening was Joyous. I heart them.

6th Dec – Christmas Wrapping

My favourite part of Christmas is wrapping the presents. I just love it. I enjoy the whole process and it leaves me all Christmassy and proud. I love love love it.  Today I wrapped all the gifts and even did some of my mums too. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

7th Dec – Doggy Joy

Today I attempted to try and train our Schnauzer puppy to sit. It didn’t work one but but he loved the treats and it was fun trying!

8th Dec – The Rules of the House

After agreeing to house sit for my sister while she is away I today had to pop round and get to grips with the house rules, basically how everything works!! It was easy peasy and made my sister joyous as its now ‘one thing less for her to worry about’ – yes, that equates to Joyous for my dear sister.

9th Dec – Joyous Babysit

Took another trip to my brother’s to babysit today. This time it was my  8 year old nephew that had me joyous. Just his gentle manner and gorgeous smile. I tucked him into bed and gave him his puffer – felt warm and fuzzy joy.

10th Dec – House to myself!

Today my 10 day house sitting stint started. SO joyous to have my own space again and joyous for my sister’s dog, a poodle that is missing her mistress very much – she loved the company. Win win.

1th Dec – Yummy Mummy

Helped my mum out ith some shopping today – she has a big confidence problem but I am pleased to say I managed to get her to buy a dress for New Year in which she looks lovely :-)

12th Dec – International joy

Called my grandma and aunt in Canada today. She cries every time. Real proper tears of Joy.

13th Dec – Rice: A Poodle’s story

My sister’s poodle and I had a lengthy cuddle today – she is a miniature poodle and she cane from a shelter. She has had a very sad life and is not very trusting. I know she’s liked having me around the last few days but she has been cautious of me and sparse with the affection. Today I woke up and she jumped on the bed and came on for a big ole cuddle – its joyous to see her relax and trust in me while my sister is away.

14th Dec – Boycott the text

I decided today to call everyone I would usually text – it was joyous not only to speak to people I am usually texting but it prompted me to pick up the phone to old friends too. Awesome.