Joyous Act 3/2011

March’s Joyous Act was a lot of work to organise and a little bit painful  but worth every second. The idea came to me while I was watching a TV  programme about last year’s Sports Relief. It occurred to me that if all of  Series 6 Apprentices came together we could raise some potentially serious  money for charity, Sports Relief was a great idea as it as much about the  challenge as it is about team work and a common goal. Something  Apprentice candidates should relish.

I took to twitter and got agreement in principle from almost all my  colleagues from Series 6. It took some pushing and shoving but most  people were pretty game. Next thing was to contact Comic Relief with our  ideas – turned out Sports Relief isn’t again until 2012 so it was Red Nose Day that would get our attention.

Chris Farrell, ex-army boy and scouser had the great idea of doing a military style assault course. Personally I’d have quite liked to jump out of a plane – we let Comic Relief decide and understandably they thought the assualt course would be most amusing

Once this was all set up we set about launching and fundraising.

With the help  of local businesses and venue Chameleon Bar & Grill in Birmingham we set up  a day running around offices collecting cash, inventing cocktails which we  served at the bar well into the night. All proceeds went straight to Comic Relief.  The night was brilliant – a huge amount of energy from everyone and great fun.

So the launch was done – we were knackerd! Myself, Dan Harris, Liz Locke, Laura Moore , Jamie Lester, Chrs Bates and Alex Epstein tore up Birmingham and I have to say, the City did us proud. We made all the local papers and radio which was great publicity for the cause.

Then came the big day. The assault course was looming. OMG. I was NOT looking forward to this. Everyone listed above plus Melissa Cohen, Paloma Vivanco, Realeigh Addington, Shibby Robarty and Stuart Baggs took part. The BBC filmed it and boy did we give it our best! It took us 38 minutes in the end to get round the course. We had to crawl under barbed wire, climb walls, down muddy banks, through tunnels and all in freezing water – it was actually exhilarating! I loved every minutes of it!

We’re still not sure exactly how much money we raised – we made more than  2.5 thousand on launch day but the money is still being counted from the web  donations.

This link shows the video of our efforts!

Apprentice Candidates Fight Dirty

Joyous Act 2/2011

My second Joyous Act of the year came to me.

About 15 years ago I took my A Levels. One of my subjects was business / economics. I enjoyed it. In fact I enjoyed school. Sixth form was an interesting time for me. It was the first time I was a day pupil – I had boarded since I was 10. I was living with my parents and it was a real novelty. Things changed again in the Upper 6th. My parents moved down south and I moved into a bedsit and was still  a day pupil but living alone. Imagine the freedom for an 17/18 year old!

In Upper 6th I pushed my luck. Although I went to school, I really only went when I felt like it or I had to. I was a bit of a precocious 6th former – thought I knew it all. Liked to joke around and be funny. I studied, but in my own terms. My business / economics tutor was a guy named Garry Ryan. I don’t think I made his job easy.

When my predicted grades came through I panicked. They weren’t good. In fact, they were pretty bad. I mainly remember being predicted an E in business / economics and thinking ‘Oh, hell –  I’m gonna have to turn this around’. I was studying media studies  once a week in the back room of a pub 40 miles from where I lived – it  was a night class and I took it because I’d quit chemistry (the equations were too hard) and my school didn’t offer media. It was a high risk strategy and at mocs time I was mildly worried I wouldn’t pull it off.

To cut a long story short – I got my  4 A Levels.

I pulled an ‘A’ out of the bag in Business / Economics and got B’s and a C in the others. That was a GREAT day! I’ll never forget running to get those results with my mum and praying that I’d pulled it off.

About a week or so after the results I received a letter in the post. It was from Mr Ryan. He wrote congratulating me saying he was proud of my achievement. He told me I should be proud of myself  and said that he felt he couldn’t take much of the credit due given my attendance record. Of course he deserved some credit but he made me take note of what I had achieved. He wrote some other stuff in that letter – really encouraging words and I can honestly say that I have read and re-read that letter many times over the years when I’ve been in need of a bit of a pep up or an injection of self-belief.

Mr Ryan contacted me after I’d done the Apprentice. In fact he sent a brilliant email including a note he had received from a friend of his…I hope he won’t mind me sharing it here… His friend wrote…

“Congratulations are in order, I think, for producing an ex-pupil who got kicked out of The Apprentice so early.  I think that the shame of having moulded a young personality that might be capable of the self-regard, brown-nosing, backstabbing and disloyalty required to thrive in SrAlan’s warped idea of the business world might have caused you very great pain.”

This really made me chuckle and it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time.

So when Mr Ryan asked me to visit his school and speak to some students and judge a Dragon’s Den style competition I didn’t think twice. Of course! I travelled back to Trowbridge – first time I’d been there in years and presented 3 times to different age groups at St Augustines School. I was worried they wouldn’t be interested but I tried to make my presentation relevant.

I went back to my time in 6th form and was totally honest with them and myself about how I had felt then. That very real fear that you might fail, the pressure of feeling as though your whole life depends on those few examination hours. I ran through what success means to me and warned them not to believe that an appearance on TV brings automatically brings you fortunes. Fame is one thing, fortune is something entirely different and actually, fame (not that I have or want it!) is a heavy cross to bear for many. I took questions and hoped to inspire in some small way. I wanted to give them confidence to know that we all have our own journey to take and that there really isn’t a right or wrong way of doing things if you stay true to yourself and know clearly what your personal definition of success is, you won’t go to far wrong.

I judged the Dragon’s Den style competition along with two other local business people. There were some great ideas and some real talent shone through. Everyone seemed to enjoy it and I received some emails afterwards from students  asking for advice and saying they’d been inspired. What a buzz and how grateful I am to have been able to take part let alone having been able to catch up with Mr Ryan who had had an effect on my life in ways he didn’t even realise!  I was certainly Joyous and I think he was too – so there, Joyous Act February 2011 – done.

Trinity Mascott

Joyous Act (1/2011)

Trinity Winchester is a charity providing services for those experiencing the effects of homelessness or vulnerable housing; problems with substance misuse; mental health issues; poverty; unemployment and social isolation.

Left – Right, Me, Tanya-Jayne Park (Volunteer), Michelle Gardner (Chief Executive), Sue McKenna (Operations Manager)

Appallingly I have to begin my first of 2011′s posts with an apology to thepeople at Trinity Winchester. When I decided to change the format of this year’s blog and achieve one Joyous Act per month (instead of per day) I fully intended to post the outcome in the same month. For a number of reasons I won’t go into I’ve not managed this yet. I visited these guys on the 22 January and here I am hanging my head in the shadow of March (its shockingly April as I finish this). The acts themselves are coming along nicely but I must work harder on timely posting. Thankfully, the guys at Trinity are as patient as they are inspiring so here goes, let me tell you about my experience at Bradbury House, Trinity Winchester…

I thought I’d use twitter to help achieve January’s joyousness. I put out a tweet “Anyone know of a charity local to Southampton that might fancy a visit and  helper for the day?’ Very quickly I had a response from Tanya-Jayne Park (@WebBasedWorking) a volunteer at Trinity  Winchester. A few days later Tanya and I were on our way to Trinity in her bright yellow fiat. Tanya told me how Trinity had helped her many years before when she was a teenager dealing with some difficult circumstances. Now she chooses to give something back by volunteering her professional expertise to the charity, a small way to demonstrate her thanks.

When I arrived I met with Chief Executive, Michelle Gardner and Operation Manager, Sue McKenna. I felt extremely welcome and was immediately comfortable. I’m not sure what I was expecting. This was my first time in this type of environment and if I’m honest I probably expected a more depressing space. In my mind’s eye I anticipated  a sad place full of disillusioned people but I couldn’t have been more wrong. This view was clearly naive and ill thought through. Trinity has an inspiring community spirit and an exceedingly positive energy – I felt it as soon as I walked in.

The centre offers an amazing array of courses and services that make a real difference to people’s lives. One of the services offered by The Women’s Centre is The Freedom Programme for women who are suffering from, or have suffered domestic abuse. There are also accredited computer courses, doctor appointments, a postal service and therapy sessions available. The centre allows people that are struggling for whatever reason, to maintain some dignity and order in circumstances when it really isn’t easy to do so.

Its pleasing to know that Trinity Winchester  gets some financial support from Hampshire County

Bradbury House at Trinity Winchester

Council but its not surprising to hear that 18 staff and 30 volunteers raise more than half its required income each year through fundraising and trust applications. This is no mean feat. The centre is the only direct access drop-in centre in the region and has a sister centre in Basingstoke. Its general services can work with up to 54 people per day while its women’s centre supports more than 150 women, many of whom have children  - each year.

Dishing up

Lunch came and it was time  for me to get my hands dirty. I was to serve. I met the lady responsible for the cooking, someone else that had in the past used the centre to get back on her feet. She told me Sainsbury’s provides all the food for Trinity and then laughed as a I proceeded to make a mess of dishing up. I know. How hard could it be?

I was relieved to see smiling friendly faces  and I wondered how it must feel to have to take that first step to Trinity’s door. I was really conscious not to appear as though I was gratuitously taking a peak into their lives. I wanted some pics for this blog but had concern that it might look somehow appear rude. They didn’t mind a jot and ended up taking the pictures for me. I was looking forward to  speaking to the guys I was serving.  I was genuinely interested to hear what they had to say.

I met a guy who used to run a million pound business – he was a driver originally and built up a nice little empire. When the business folded for reasons that could happen to anyone: red tape, lost contracts, he started to sell drugs. He didn’t use them, he sold them (at first anyway). He needed to keep ‘afloat’. He got caught and ended up in prison. He  split from his wife losing his children too. When he came out of prison he started driving again until he lost his license for drink driving. He now lives far from his family in a rented room and comes to the centre for company and support.  He is clearly a bright man but affected by circumstance and now, alcohol addiction. He was very honest with me and talked about the depression that sets in when not having work, the feelings of worthlessness when he looks back over his mistakes. The Centre is helping him stay on track while he continues to search for work. It gives his somewhere to go and a community to be part of.

Trinity Winchester

It might be easy for you or I to judge the decisions he has made along the way, but how can any one of us be sure that in a parallel universe, with our backs against the wall,  that we too wouldn’t make some irrational decisions we would later regret? We all know that addiction does not discriminate. Alcohol and drugs are a very real part of our society whether we like it or not. Whether you are a risk taking party animal, or a glass of red by the fire type – there really is no way of knowing on that first sip if it will develop into a more sinister habit. Addiction is a serious illness and one that affects many of our country’s homeless. And the number of homeless people in this country is only getting larger what with the current economic pressures and increasing numbers of unemployed.

I spoke to many people around Trinity, all from very different walks of life and all at very different stages on their respective journeys. They had many things in common, not least that despite the knock backs and challenges they were facing they all, without question, had on balance more hope than despair. I got the overwhelming feeling this was because of the Centre, and more than that, the people working in it.

CEO, Michelle Gardner

I spent time talking to CEO, Michelle Gardner. An inspiring lady who despite being in astonishing back pain (from a slipped disk) openly shared her achievements and frustrations with me. Michelle is a business woman. She is in the business of helping people. What she achieves on a ridiculously tight budget would impress any FD in the private sector. She manages a team of volunteers and employees who are working to give give people back their independence. To provide them with somewhere safe and non-judgmental where they can start to put their lives back together. A bad day at the office though isn’t when a project is late or a deadline gets missed, its when somebody dies. In her words, “It happens, but it shouldn’t”.

Operations Manager, Sue McKenna came to work at Trinity after more than 10 years working in the private sector. She acknowledges that the money isn’t what it could be but but that benefits outweigh the costs. “Working for a charity doesn’t feel any different to working in the private sector, you still have a job to do but I know we are ultimately doing good and that is important to me”

Sue McKenna, Operations Director

While I was at the centre I met one of their most recent success stories. A young homeless couple were being congratulated by the Trinity community as they had finally been allocated a house. These guys had been living in stark conditions in a caravan for ten years and had been working their way through the system by themselves to no avail.  It took about a minute before they accredited their key worker for the final results. Her hard work providing emotional support and encouragement through their endeavor meant they managed to get things sorted. They are expecting a baby and knowing they will be able to provide a proper home for their new family had them very excited.

I met Jane, one of the Centre’s key workers. Jane was clearly devoted to her job and worked tirelessly on behalf of her clients. She told me her philosophy was to “never expect too much. If I don’t reach out or make a difference first time it just makes me more determined to try again”.  This grit and determination is a necessity when working in an area with infinite goals and objectives. The simple truth is however much the centre does do, there will always be more than can be done and more people that need help. One of Jane’s clients told me how he used to sleep rough at the Cathedral. Jane used to go and see him there and just say,”come and see me”. She didn’t give up, and eventually he did. Now they are working together to get his life back on track.

Key Worker, Jane with Fred who credits Jane for getting him back on his feet

I had an an amazing day at the centre. I left feeling inspired and hopeful for all those that have the courage to take those  first few steps and ask for help. I also felt grateful for the support networks in my life and opportunities that I have had over my 3o odd years  that have meant I have been able to face life’s adversities knowing I’ll always be ‘alright’.

I did however leave feeling a little frustrated too. Frustrated at what I know is the misconception in our country about those that are homeless. Yes, some of them want to be, it is all they know and you know what? Its their life and so be it. We can’t change that.

But my overwhelming personal feeling is that most homeless people are massively mis-understood and the fact is that many are suffering from some sort of mental health issue – and no, this doesn’t mean they are all loopy. I suspect that depression is at the heart of  many of their problems. Depression often leads to self-medication with alcohol and substance abuse and vice versa. Its almost irrelevant to me which comes first. As a nation we  underestimate  the effects of real depression and we belittle addiction as if those afflicted choose it.  Something Michelle said while I was at the centre really struck with me. She said, “One human being should be able to look into the face of another human being and see that they are ill” and she is right.

With a touch more compassion, some real thought instead of judgement we might all begin to realise that homelessness is so much more than not just having a roof over your head.  It runs deeper than that and centres like Bradbury House, Trinity Winchester make a real difference to those struggling to find their way. To make a donation or volunteer at Bradbury House visit the website here.

It’s official! WOOT!

I have completed a Joyous Act every day (bar 1) during 2010 pretty much exactly as I pledged to do so on NYE 2009.

In fact – I have most probably  achieved way more than 365 joyous acts because once you open your eyes to look for it you realise that they are everywhere and that making yourself and one other person Joyous really doesn’t take as much effort as you might think. Certainly not as much effort as I expected it to be!

So, before I share my 5 top Joyous Acts of this year I’m going to tell you about my plans for the blog during 2011.

Am I still going to do Joyous Acts? Yes! Am I going to blog about it everyday? No.

Having lived a year appreciating the joy in life and realising that Joy can be shared in the most mundane of things I’ve decided to blog 12  entries this year, one each month.

Instead of reporting on the beautiful random joy that can be found in the smallest things every day like sharing, listening and laughing, I am going to make sure that each entry is exciting and hopefully therefore inspiring too.

This year is going to be a busy one and so I need to be more realistic with my time. I have lots I want to achieve – I’ll update you more on that in my Joyous Now blog which will be updated tomorrow and in the meantime  I will be adopting the quality not quantity mantra and achieving 12 EXTREMELY joyous acts in 2o11 so if you have any ideas – don’t hesitate to contact me!

The only thing I have left to say now is THANK YOU for all your support and I hope you’ve enjoyed it oh, and I’m  really sorry that we lost the facebook page – I am still working on trying to get it back!!

My personal top 5 Joyous Acts in 2010 have been…

1) Giving out heart shaped helium filled balloons in Birmingham on Valentines Day

2) Taking a bag full of Easter Eggs to the Children’s Ward at Birmingham Children’s hospital at Easter

3) Getting my tattoo & paying off my credit card debts

4) Sharing Pringles with a Nicaraguan grandmother and grandaughter whilst on a long bus  journey

5) Teaching Tibetan refugee’s & Monks conversational English in India

26th Dec – The modern day thank you card

Today I emailed and rang all those I needed to thank for my lovely Christmas pressies. It always makes me joyous to make people feel appreciated (and feel appreciated myself)

27th Dec – Tweet Meet Part Deux

So, you remember @DannyBlahBlah who kindly invited Sian and  I over to watch the Apprentice when we were sans TV in London? Well, it only turns out his family live in Southampton and he is as bored out of his mind as I am in this between Christmas and New Year period. What did we do? We met in town and I drank Gin and he drank beer. Joyous. I feel like fo some reason he and I are meant to be crossing paths….

28th Dec – Once a friend always a friend

There is a girl I was very close friends with years ago (i’m talking 15 yrs ago) and we are connected on facebook and through some other friends with whom we are still in touch. We finally arranged to meet this festive season seeing as I am back down this way. So, she texts me today and cancelled because she is in the middle of what looks like being a break-up. It was weird  because we had a conversation (via text) about fate and and the usual cliches and I tried to share some encouraging words as I felt as sad for her now as I would have all those years ago. The text seems to have helped a bit and she responded saying so and promising a reschedule once the dust has settled her end. While it was a sad conversation for  her I took something Joyosus away fromit, as did she. And that, is the knowledge that true friendship stands the test of time.

29th Dec – Little FOCKERS

I treated my nephew to a trip to the cinema where we watched the Little Focker movie. Hysterical and extremely Joyous xx

30th Dec – Girly sleepover

I had dinner tonight with one of my longest standing friends  - probably another one of about 15 years. Its true we hadn’t seen each other in a year or so but as always – it was SUCH fun. We gossiped, laughed, even had a little bitch and the whole thing was absolutely  joyous.

31st Dec – Happy New Year!!!!!

My joyous act today has been helping mum get ready for the party we are having at the house. I’m literally just about to go downstairs and get cooking…

Its worth noting here that I am looking forward to the year ahead so much its untrue. I spent last New Year in London with my friend Sian and there we decided to go traveling in 2010 and, that I would note a joyous act everyday during the same year. Both pledges were achieved and I am massively proud of that!

I can honestly say that despite stresses and strains, this year has been incredible and very special to me. Taking the time to acknowledge something joyous every day has ensured that I remain positive pretty much all of the time as well as grateful for all the opportunities and adventures that are out there waiting for us to exploit them. Life is definitely worth living – I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2011!

May the JOY be with you